This year has been a little crazy for the Andersons
You may recall we had some trouble last year
The robot council had us banished to an asteroid
That hasn't undermined our holiday cheer
And we know it's almost Christmas from the marks we make on the wall
And that's our favorite time of year

Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
Where we're working in a mine for our robot overlords
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime

On every corner there's a giant metal Santa Claus who watches over us with glowing red eyes
They carry weapons and they know if you've been bad or good
Not everybody's good but everyone tries
And the rocks outside the airlock exude ammonia-scented snow
It's like a Winter wonderland

Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
Where we're working in a mine for our robot overlords
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime

That's all the family news that we're allowed to talk about
We really hope you'll come and visit us soon
I mean we're literally begging you to visit us
And make it quick before they [MESSAGE REDACTED]
Now it's time for Christmas dinner - I think the robots sent us a pie!
You know I love my soylent green

Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
Where we're working in a mine for our robot overlords
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime