[MC Paul Barman]

Burping & Farting, Burping & Farting
Burping's from slurping the carbon dioxide
Farting's from digesting gas in the intestines
Burping & Farting, Burping & Farting
Burping's from slurping the carbon dioxide
Farting's from digesting gas in the intestines

Burping's from slurping the carbon dioxide in sugar water
Sodalicious yet less nutritious than a booger snotter
Gas burps from fast slurps and come back in blast
Chirps through the esophagus
It smells like a sarcophagus
Chewing gum swallows air and straws add air too
Did big bro ever burp shotgunning homebrew?
Too much makes you puke and so does flu
Purging's great
Never urge a date to regurgitate

Burping & Farting, Burping & Farting
Burping's from slurping the carbon dioxide
Farting's from digesting gas in the intestines
Burping & Farting, Burping & Farting
Burping's from slurping the carbon dioxide
Farting's from digesting gas in the intestines

I said Farting's from digesting gas in the intestines
When gas spurts my ass hurts and blows back my grass skirts and tartans
Don't be disheartened if you fart in a crowd
Silent but deadly
The cloud wasn't loud
If you got more gas than Gulf I'd cull fried foods or else emit some
sulfides
Pass me a charcoal pill
Scratch that
Give me that thar whole grill "Coming at you mate!"
You flatulate the gas that you ate
It's really just doody in vaporous form
Mine is so fresh the paper is warm
I took a peek in my dookareeka and found a lentil a diamond and corn
Eureka!

"How could he be so smart and so stupid at the same time?"