People say you're stupid and fat
And your face resembles the ass of a rat
In the schoolyard no one would play
You'd say "Hi" and they'd run away
Your teachers all say you're dumb as shit
Your guidance councilor says you should drop out and quit
But OZZY ain't got nothin' on me

HAIL SATAN!!!!!!!

So now I warn you
You'd better think twice
From here on in don't play nice
Voodoo dolls for you with pins
The world's gonna pay for their sins
For a while I was down on my luck
But now it's me you'd better not fuck
Cause me and LU' are working a spell
Laugh now, cause we'll see you in hell!

HAIL SATAN!!! (c'mon, everyone, sing along!)

Even strangers point and stare
You've had it--you'd better beware
Hide in church and sing your psalm
See my pentagrams on my palms
Better stay and pray with the nuns
We've got you in the sight of our guns
So Sundays, it's wafers and wine
Or sign here on the dotted line!

[Chorus, inexcusably horrid guitar-wanking]