How to spot an invert
Amongst the vertebrates:

Good grooming
A tidy bedroom
Never married
And working in the arts
A bitchy sense of humour
Inordinately colourful scarves
Loose gestures
A wardrobe full of Helmut Lang
A dangling limp wrist
A talent for interior design

He has a taste for Latin poetry of the Silver Age
Indulges privately on the heath with unknown youths
In Spartan sports
And 'the unspeakable vice of the Greeks'

Likes show tunes
Counts hairdressers amongst his closest friends
Is umbilically attached to his mother
He is careful to conceal at all times his real age
Is always florid, flamboyant, pale and interesting

Too good to be true
But this could be you
The invert, our hero, is the male sex, Release 2.0

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