Out on the old coast highway
Flyin' through the night
Jed got stopped by the CHP
For speedin' and no brake lights

Rolled down the drivers window
Slipped his gun down under the seat
Glove box full of cocaine
Trunk was full of weed

"Driver's license and registration,"
Said the officer with his flashlight
Searchin' around the floor of the car
Smellin' like somethin' ain't right

Jed's life flashed before him
Like a black and white super 8
He heard the sound of the future
On a scratchy old 78

Nothin' was still, all was movin'
When the flashlight found the gun
Then jed pulled the trigger
In a split second tragic blunder

"Makes you think about livin'
And what life has to tell,"
Said jed to grandpa
From inside his cell

Camouflage hung in his closet
Guns all over the wall
Plans for buildings and engineers
And a book with no numbers at all

The whole town was stunned
They closed the coast highway for 12 hours
No one could believe it
Jed was one of ours

Meanwhile across the ocean
Living in the internet
Is the cause of an explosion
No one has heard yet

But there's no need to worry
There's no reason to fuss
Just go on about your work now
And leave the driving to us

And we'll be watching you
No matter what you do
And you can do your part
By watching others too

Grandpa put down the paper
Staring in disbelief
Jed had always been good to him
And never gave him any grief

"The moral of this story
Is try not to get too old
The more time you spend on earth
The more you see unfold

And as an afterthought
This must to be told
Some people have taken pure bullshit
And turned it into gold"