Every day at lunch in high school and all my senior year
I'd drink my cup of cola with a touch of Everclear
I never had to study math, science, or history
I'd have a chemical flash back to jog my memory

My junior year I swore I loved sweet Miss Sherri Ann
One night I put some Everclear in her Dr Pepper can
Well I thought it'd make her easy
She took it pretty hard
I took her home and rang her doorbell left her lying in the yard

Chorus
Tequila dries me out
Beer just makes me fat
Whiskey makes me nauseas
Now tell me who the hell needs that
So if youre thinking about drinking
Well the answers crystal clear
It's the invisible, intoxicating
It's called Everclear

I remember my church picnic
In the spring of "?89
Yeah they had four fresh watermelons
Sliced right off the vine
When they bowed their heads giving grace for the food
Hey I pulled out my bottle and I soaked them melons good
Well they never knew what hit em
When that potion went to work
They had grandmas doing back flips
Grandpas looking up their skirts
They were singing hallelujah and Willie Nelson songs
Preacher said it was the best dang picnic
That the Baptists had ever thrown

Chorus
Tequila dries me out
Beer just makes me fat
Whiskey makes me nauseas
Now tell me who the hell needs that
So if youre thinking about drinking
Well the answers crystal clear
It's the invisible, intoxicating
It's called Everclear

When I'm drinking Everclear
I think I'm king of this whole world
I'm bigger and badder than John Wayne
Cooler than Steve Earl
Until I wake up and I'm face down in the hall
Hey I'm completely naked for a reason I can't recall
Well I'm kinda sorta thinking that maybe I met chick
Cause there's perfume in the air
And there's lipstick on my neck
Well I hope that she was pretty
And I hope that she was kind
Enough to leave my clothes somewhere
They're easy to find

Chorus
Tequila dries me out
Beer just makes me fat
Whiskey makes me nauseas
Now tell me who the hell needs that
So if youre thinking about drinking
Well the answers crystal clear
It's the invisible, intoxicating
It's called Everclear