It's hard to be a jew on christmas,
my friends won't let me join in any games, and
I can't sing christmas songs or decorate a christmas tree,
or leave water out for rudolph 'cause there's something
wrong with me! my people don't believe in Jesus Christ Divinity!
I'm a jew a lonely jew on christmas!

Haunakuh is nice but why is it?
that Santa passes over my house every year
and instead eating ham I have to eat Ko Sher Lactees
instead of Silent Night im singing "Hu Hagtol Gavish"
and what the F**k is up with lighting all these F***ing candles tell me please
I'm a jew a lonley jew
I can't be merry cause I'm hebrew
On Christmas

(Man comes in deep vioce)

Hey little boy can I help ya here ya feelin left out of Christmas cheer
Well I've come to tell you that you shouldn't be sad, this
is the 1 month that you should be glad,
cause it's nice to be a jew on christmas,
you don't have to deal with the season at all
you don't have to celebrate or give to charity
you don't have to to Grandma's house with your Alchoholic family
AND I DONT HAVE TO SIT ON SOME FAKE SANTA'S LAP AND HAVE
HIM BREATHE HIS STINKY BREATH ON ME!
(that's right)
You're a jew
A STYLIN JEW
IT's a GOOD time to be HEBREW
ON CHRISTMAS

(FADE)

(deeply) On Christmas