She's the slickest chick I've ever known
I take her with me wherever I go to rope in all my fears
and open all my beers and to never ever leave me alone
She's tiny, shiny and bright, almost too sharp but not quite
She does it all somehow
She's in my pocket now but I'm gonna take her out tonight

She's my swiss-army girlfriend
She's holding up her end, and she's all mine,
so I got a valentine to send

Do I have to draw a diagram?
When I'm out of luck or in a jam she can get me hot and out of tight
spots, and she's ready whenever I am
She slices, dices and more
She can handle any household chore,
and I love the feel of her stainless steel when we're rolling all
around on the floor

She's my swiss-army girlfriend
She's in my dresser drawer and I'm all hers and we've got a
universe to explore

And I love her so, though she may never know just how low I would
go to keep her by my side and open wide for when our worlds collide

She's the only game in town
She's a thriller that you can't put down,
so enjoy this song because before too long we're gonna run each
other into the ground

She's my swiss-army girlfriend
We've barely started yet, but we're all set and we've got a bassinet
to get