Moscow nights are cold, but they're crisp and clear
Let's go South for winter this year
To Afghanistan, it's such a lovely land
And the people are russian as can be
In Afghanistan, right next to Pakistan,
With it's warm water port upon the Sea

Exciting things are happening there every day,
And each night a fireworks display
In Afghanistan, it's such a lovely land
And it's warmer by far than Moscovy
In Afghanistan, or maybe old Iran
Where the oil fields are wonderful to see

Exotic sights to see in each quaint old town--
--those that were not burned to the ground
In Afghanistan, it's such a lovely land
And the natives are friendly as they can be
In Afghanistan, it should be Russian land,
Just a small part of Brezhnev's legacy

Third verse from Kathy Sabanski, of Clam Chowder
First and second verse from Frank Hayes and Mr Porath