No matter where you go to you can still sit on a couch You can still sleep 'til it's dark outside You can still just hang around You can still not make new frie...

I brought a guitar I brought a handful of credit cards I filled a van and a trailer up to the top with shit that I'll probably never use I took 95 and then I t...

I went to about five funerals this year And I felt so empty that I couldn't even shed a tear I felt so fucking selfish, all I thought about was me And how I'd l...

You got a new medicine 100 movie channels on television We can use it as evidence Of why I don't have any more friends I got a big comfortable couch That seems...

[Originally by Tom Waits] My head is spinning round My heart is in my shoes I went and set the Thames on fire And now I must come back down She's laughing in h...

Every day's a hassle when you never sleep at night Tossing and turning and shaking uncomfortably But today's the fucking weekend So we're sleeping until five Wa...

Full speed along the North Oconee River I can feel it in my forehead and while that always fails, my lungs are getting clearer I see trucks racing by on the roo...

You've got all kinds of problems With the state of the world And there's just one solution That will get you the girls Blow your brains out on live TV Four mor...

One more just passed me by I'm running out of fake interest in everybody doing shit I think about ten months ago when I was drinking in Seattle about as far awa...

I'm twenty-two and I live at home And I hate my shitty job and shitty wage I feel like I need an attitude adjustment When the transformation's over you can see ...

Congratulations! Go stretch your ears and get a neck tattoo Congratulations! All of our friends knew there was no better choice than you Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Co...

Got a lot of shit on my head You know we got to pull it together 'Cause it's not gonna stop until we're dead You know we got to pull it together 'Cause it's not...

Take a look at your haircut You're killing me Take a look at your glasses You're killing me Placement of the piercings You're killing me Fight Fight Fight Fight...

Pack and get out fast No going out with a blast No leaving here tomorrow And don't think about any kind of severance fee Unemployment won't be paid by crooks an...

There's a song tonight that I don't wanna sing It seems like I'm complaining about something I've lost interest in So I sing "ba da badbabababa, here we go agai...

Shut the fuck up That's enough today You made your point, I can't make mine and that's the way we're gonna keep it, bro Get out now Get out fast That's my only ...

Don't you say Don't you ever ever say that it was worth it for the profit Another day When I wait there shit-faced Then I smile when I'm on and sing the songs t...

I got noticed at a restaurant once while I was out with my parents Got a couple hundred bucks for me and my friends to make an appearance But you don't like me...

Insurance: blow on it! Debt: blow on it! Global warming: blow on it! Racist asshole: blow on them! Blow on it like an old Nintendo Broken car: blow on it! Brok...

Can I stop my life so I can just be with you? Let's hightail to Hawaii on a plane I'll embezzle what's left of my band fund To take necessary action to destroy ...

It's fifty degrees in December and the heat in my house is always broke So it feels about twenty-five colder and I can't feel my fingers and toes I miss the G t...

[Originally by Regina Spektor] A man walks out of his apartment, It is raining, he's got no umbrella He starts running beneath the awnings, Trying to save his ...

Contact through computer Broken guitar Broken amps and dreams I felt old a long time ago but now the rest of the world's gotten older than me So what's the deal...

When we're not feeling strong, we grab the mic and sing along Na na na na, etc Whenever I go to a show it always feels like I've been time warped back to the el...

I don't love you anymore No this isn't some mistake For the past two months I've just been getting drunk And watching Lost and then getting even drunker just so...

Mom, please wake up I can't sleep My head's fucked I need a hug or a drug Please decide What's up doc? Do I think of suicide? In this room, yes I do Where's my...

Turn off the TV, it's time to settle down And I've been ignoring newspapers, I've been staring at the ground Because I'm waking up from nightmares, whenever I l...

"Delusions! Delusions! Delusions of grandeur! Grab the motherfucking tape machine I'll show you I'm the shit Wait and see! Wait and see! Bask in creativity I'm ...

Sing the fucking songs you told the world to sing Sing it right unless you want to fail Listen back and punch the things that we don't like You can't do it righ...

It's official We're mad We're all mad at someone and our anger takes over And we stop having fun And we talk but don't act And then nothing will change We're so...

At a desk in a room that's always too hot or cold, At a computer where you're starting to lose you soul With a wage that they pay to keep you from ten to six At...

I DRANK MYSELF TO DEATH We got a bottle of Jim Beam and I drank a liter To distract me from my constant overthinking I need a breather You built this up your ...

III OK HANGOVER My god I woke up on the floor of a famous Minneapolis rapper (whose name will go unmentioned) I didn't crush the cat No one wrote "dick" on my ...

Here's the thing about the music business The trick is playing trend rock right before the trend hits Playing it right after means your band has missed the fuck...

Remember when we danced at shows, before we all stood in the back? We sang guilty pleasures so damn loud our lungs were sore Competition can't compete with that...

We got knocked off the horse and we can't get back up We can try to change but we've still got our bills that we gotta pay And the payments stay the same no mat...

I got seven gallons in my tank That's enough to get me back to Queens so I can write this song I got $300 I can pay rent this month Oh my god! It's just enough...

[Originally by Harvey Danger] Drive across the country, tell your story walking No one's keeping you captive in the town that let you down (so sorry) Blame it ...

Let the day roll in Let the day roll out Let the robot transport me from Clayton to my house Let the shit roll in Let the shit roll out Because I'm goddamned b...

I never was a drinker and now I'm an alcoholic, Drinking just to fall asleep and hiding my smiles 'Cause you can probably smell that shit on my teeth Drink it d...

Let's save our arms, knives, tanks and guns Let's put them in the she'd until we fight a war not based on assumption Let's save our bombs and set our sights on ...

I just got paid/lost my job so it's a heavy night of drinking You can smoke in the bar so when I come home I'm stinking The smell on my clothes is offending to ...

When I was thinking about moving to VA, everyone I talked to had nothing but amazing things to say about it "Oh the music scene is amazing!", "Oh the people are...

Baby, grab your things Let's hit the show 'Cause when the world's on fire, it's the one place we can go Where we can just dance until we're dead And it never re...

Brown paper bags metal cans Sixty degrees Fahrenheit We can't see the stars tonight 'Cause apartments generate ambient light And I'm sorry that we're not alread...

I heard from you today By digital replay You told me that you care You'll help from over there I say we're not the same It's falling on deaf ears At eighty mile...

I sat along the rocks and watch the cold Maine water rush away The sun and my guitar and I knew what you were doing yesterday You broke those promises but I'll ...

A roof in Greenpoint and a keg of shitty beer I can't believe anyone came to watch me disappear Drunk but without wistfulness Smiles instead of tears I knew you...

"Guantanamo Bay, son We want none of your bullshit The boy who's crying 'Haditha', Vietnam's not a reference Stop to think of the terror Everyone's gonna mess w...

I bought a couch and a grill and a table with chairs, Paid for gas, like, the whole way down here, Electric n' cable, a shelf n' end table, Almost a hundred buc...