- Big Tex's Girl
(Hank Card/Kristen Nelson) You've all heard tell of Pecos Bill Who rode a cyclone 'til it broke Well, at the Texas State Fair There's an even bigger bloke That ...
- Big Texs Girl
(Aaron Nordquist) This is my tribute to you Because I love you and you love me too You'll stay with me until the end You mean so much to me, your my best friend...
- Bonfire of the Inanities
(Conrad Deisler/Hank Card) We rented a convertible in San Bernadino We were driving for driving's sake Across the tortured waterless mountains Through the moons...
- Do Not Go to Tennessee
(Hank Card) Do not go to Tennessee That is what my Daddy said But I knew Daddy was a fool I listened to myself instead Do not go to Tennessee 'Cause it would be...
- Gingrich the Newt
(Hank Card) We'd like to set the record straight by singing of the newt For newts are open-minded; they are flexible and cute A newt can breathe in water and a ...
- Half a Man
(Hank Card/Conrad Deisler) I was one tough nut until the day you made me crack I was one tough customer until you paid me back I was one tough cookie 'til I cru...
- Irving
(Hank Card/Kristen Nelson) Darling, do you talk to Irving when you're here alone? What are all these calls to Irvine on the telephone? Just then that phone rang...
- Mourning Edition
(Hank Card/Conrad Deisler The dollar is falling on the japanese market The Nikei industrial average is shooting up like a rocket Nervous investors satisfying th...
- Old Blevins
(Hank Card/Conrad Deisler) We had a little quarrel, she and I She told me just to curl up and die I crept out to drown my sorrows At a joint called no tomorrows...
- Shallow End of the Gene Pool
(Emily Kaitz) My Daddy was a man of letters My Mama was a head of state And when they got their chromosomes together They gave me all of their recessive traits ...