All I want for Christmas is a house up in the hills With colored lights and music, frosted window sills Filled with all my loved ones, all the old and young one...

Andy always dreamed of wrestling Andy always dreamed of wrestling He could see himself in the ring With bulging biceps and an evil sneer Basking in the spotligh...

I was in an Arizona tavern I sat down to dinner Chicken fajitas with nachos and peppers A bite stuck in my windpipe, it gave me a fright I choked and I gagged, ...

Art, art for art's sake, I'd like you to meet my lawyer Heart, heart like a snake, make a mistake and boy your bones, bones gonna shake, could be slander Move, ...

To be wide awake To be frank with me Don't be discouraged You gonna be so free To be horrified If it escalated Even the pious side Is desolated In the disarray ...

Huck like mocha (chica) Huck like mocha (chica) Huck like mocha (chica) Huck like mocha (chica) I wanna beat my breast like an ape man I don't wanna comb my h...

I am a lonesome hombre I spend my time driving my truck around town on Saturdays I moved here from the city I thought that maybe All of my luck would change her...

I need an angel I need a pilot I need a lover to watch over me Into the nightfall With scarey shadows Someone to be my security In an awful moment between openi...

Boy around the corner Very shy He never says hello But he's the guy I wanna be with Boy is kind of funny Doesn't speak His legs are skinny Not a good physique ...

I've got a bulky rhythm in my soul I'm much too happy for rock and roll I don't like funk, I can't stand punk My toes go limp with all that trendy junk I got a ...

Exotic scenery from far away lands With outstanding bargains on designer brands A honeymoon in summer our romance is in bloom We'll be together in our own priva...

My parents married here in Reno Then I was born, and it seemed downhill from there We never had our share of luck, and it wasn't fair Ooooo But then, a week ago...

Excuse me" she said, it took him by surprise That first taste was bitter and sweet They had to share a table by the window Backpacks sitting like hounds at thei...

Don't brake for animals tonight Got to keep the passengers safe No help can be found in this part of the world Don't brake for animals tonight Don't let the nig...

We both liked corn dogs at the start We once shared pastries from the cart I know that low cholesterol is good for my heart But these fights over what to eat ar...

I am a lonesome hombre I spent my time driving my truck around town on Saturdays I move here from the city I thought that maybe all of my luck would change Here...

(You could be the President) (You could be the President) (One nation, oh my god) (You could be the President) I went to my dentist's at 3rd and Market That wis...

Dictator in a polo shirt Dictator in a polo shirt A backwards society A non-aligned nation can't afford to buy starch No chance for dignity in our laundry When ...

DRIVE-BY LOVE as performed by The Bobs at The Barns Of Wolf Trap, Late Show, Feb 13, 1993 Transcribed by Richard Segal Lead Vocal by Joe Bob Finetti, Percussion...

Am I driving to work or working to drive? Creeping along just barely alive Early in the morning there's a traffic warning But it can't slam through my personal ...

(Eddie is a jinx) (Eddie is a jinx) Hey Eddie please don't help me This is a job I can do by myself There is no need for you to stay Please, Eddie, go away Oh E...

Elwood Decker died the other day He was abstractly struck by a train He lived in Nipomo but he painted his own way He was tragically killed in the rain For 88 ...

The power is out from a terrible storm but my lights still shine Santa's spinning and Rudolph's grinning Listen to my generator whine my neighbors put up a pret...

Hippie Again First I was a hippie Then I was a stockbroker Now I am a hippie again In the Summer of Love I was mellow and high I had my bus and my dog and eve...

Down at the grocery store They got those things I like to eat Oh, yeah Down at the grocery store I got enough for a box of Cream of Wheat Oh, yeah Don't you kno...

When the hearings started it seemed like an intrusion My wife couldn't stand missing "One Life to Live" The kids came home from school and asked "Dad, what's co...

Helmet Transcribed by Chris Vagnini I can remember how it started I'd follow the firemen I'd dreamed of the astronauts They looked so happy in their shiny meta...

I hate the Beach Boys (I stay indoors all day) Give me my raincoat (Draw the curtains closed) On all the brightest days (I stay indoors all day) I listen to Leo...

I want to fill that empty hole My pockets are full but there's a hole in my soul I need a purpose, but I don't know where to look Then I go to the mall and I go...

Johnny's Room Transcribed by Chris Vagnini There are two things I can't stand One of them is your mom One is just as bad Is your dad Why did we have to come T...

Kill your television Baby on board I heart my dog's head I honk for the Lord I believe you Anita You can't hug your kid with nuclear arms I brake for animals I...

They're comingat the rate of 300 miles a year They started in Brazil, And came north through Nicaragua We call them killer bees The Sandinistas call them their ...

She let me off with a warning She didn't take me in She let me go with a warning She said "Don't do that again!" I was stopped I was stopped I was stopped by a...

She's so lazy Drives me crazy She's lazy Drives me crazy Something about her drives the boys wild Drives me crazy Something about her drives the boys wild She's...

Meat on the Moon A barbecue tune It's out of this world I hope we get there soon Stranded by Apollo Seven -- I'm a hungry astronaut Left alone up here in heave...

I know that you have gone But to me you linger on 'Cause i see you everywhere Your footprints on the carpet Your fingerprints on glasses The bathroom sink stil...

Hurricane Bob is petering out And Charlotte's on the way She's taking Amtrak And I'm mopping, mopping, mopping My Ford Fiesta floats OK It's in the garage, not ...

There's a side o' me I show -- a side I keep hidden Sometimes they flip-flop -- hey! no kiddin' I use my left brain then I use the right I'm the day -- I'm the ...

My Husband Was A Weatherman Transcribed by Chris Vagnini Lead Vocals by Janie-Bo My husband was a weatherman He was right all the time He knew when there'd be ...

My shoes went out with a pair of red high heels last night My girlfriend just won't understand it She thinks that I'm the one to blame, but that's not right My ...

My parents were wrong, they named me "tree" It's probably the cruelest thing they ever did to me I thought a long time about changing my name But I found a bett...

I got a bunch of bananas and a bottle of bleach Five cans of cat food, a chicken, and a peach I had enough trouble picking out all this food I can't stand decis...

I was sensitive before it was in style But that was never enough Ever new philosophy that you'd adopt Seemed to make sense to me too When we tripped together I...

Have you seen my woman walkin'? With a basket on her head She looks so strong and healthy Lord, she's not underfed Pounded Pounded on a Rock She's goin' down to...

I've been having dreams of what may come to be What a nightmare Haven't found a job since I got my GED What do I care And in my dreams I am a short order cook S...

You can here me in the early hours drumming onthe screens You can dance and run in summer showers I'm feeding the greens You'll laugh in a child-like way when y...

The next thing I knew, there was a pain in my head like my sinuses were cracking The Santa Ana winds had come back, and the whole city of LA was acting like it...

He comes down the chimney In a sharkskin suit Under the tree He's leaving lots of loot Your name's on the tag Santa's got a brand new bag He's makin' a list And...

Him: Pardon me I couldn't help but see That you only have a small amount of laundry I don't have much You don't have much Why don't we both share a load? Her: ...

Shut up and sing -- Shut up an sing -- Shut up and sing -- Shut up and sing -- Now shut up I will have to zap the channel if he talks too long Arsenio is in my...

Sign my snarling doggy -- do it for me Sign my snarling doggy -- or your knee is his tree Look -- his tail is waggin' Ya see he's really friendly Sign my snarli...

I've got a happy marriage I get along well with Ray He drives an eighteen-wheeler From here to Santa Fe (He can be gone such a long time) I've made discreet arr...

Slow down, Krishna, slow down Your red Trans Am goes way too fast Slow down, Krishna, slow down Or your current life may be your last Krishna is a holy man An ...

We had a spark and we had fire Kisses that sizzled on our lips Beatnik poets rolled their own Rich folks had filter tips We had time enough to live forever You...

I got Persian rugs I got exterminated bugs I got a house that goes from over there to here Yeah, my basement's full of fine imported beer But I got somethin' --...

Spontaneous Human Combustion Poof, there goes another one A raging fire, a funeral pyre An unexpected cremation They were kissing in a crowded mall when they b...

Even in the fifth grade I knew it was you I passed you a note with our names in a heart You say that it's over, I'll never give up You're more than my life you'...

The breeze is whispering "O, promise me" As a band of mariachis serenade up in a tree Chirping cherubs sing along -- harmonize our song Nothing is stranger than...

As a baby in my mother's arms She would croon and I'd see pink And when she'd bathe me in the sink The radio would play red or green or lavender When the Beatle...

We've been locked here for six days in a motel room With the blinds drawn And the lights on No TV and no phone My brain is numb and my stomach's sore From cigar...

It's the night before the night before Christmas old friends together the same time every year she's leaving him, but he doesn't know it to everyone else it's p...

We never met face to face But I feel like I know you well You have the place next to my place I could see you by ringing the bell But I hear you through the wal...

Me and Quincy were going out Puttin' across the Bay Bridge Grinning like a pair of Cheshire cats We'd found a six pack in the fridge Q's drumming on the dashboa...

On every corner there's a man in a red suit singing ho, ho, ho, (ho, ho) I don't think any of them really could be Santa but how am I gonna know? I saw a Santa...

A person's home should be their castle (When I'm at home I want to feel like royalty) But I don't want to be the queen of this mess (Never before have I seen su...

So you think you've made it to the top That doesn't mean you should stop Don't lean back in your chair, don't lose your desire Keep on tryin' to go even higher ...

Welcome To My Fog Transcribed by Chris Vagnini As performed by the Bobs October, 1990 at Berkeley Performance Center, Boston Lead Vocals by Gunnar-Bob Madsen w...

Barking and grunting and shouting like fools In stairwells and bathrooms and dry swimming pools Places where reverb resounds with a ring Why do the cops come wh...

Welcome To My Fog Transcribed by Chris Vagnini As performed by the Bobs October, 1990 at Berkeley Performance Center, Boston Lead Vocals by Gunnar-Bob Madsen w...

Masters of this house I bring an animated novel a Christmas comic all red and green a wondrous tale to glorify the season the most fantastic story that you've e...