Alright, motherfucker It's time to go old-school So put on your thinking caps And get ready To fuck shit up A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y a...

I like beer 'cos it is good I drink beer because I should If there was a song to sing I sing it and beer you bring I drink beer when I am sad ''cause the beer i...

[Narrator:] What would YOU do for a Death Burger! [Drive-Thru:] Hi, welcome to Sonic! Can I take your order please? [Customer 1:] Yes! I would like a Death Burg...

Well you see I wanna sell a million records But my music sucks So what am I to do? They say an artist is appreciated after he's dead I have no talent but I bet...

[Spoken] Morning Sleepy Head! Time To Get Up! I said It's time to get up! Rise and shine, It's a whole new day full of opportunities AND possibilities I said...

You know that I know that we both know how resolutions and You know that you are gonna give up yet you still pretend You can't deny the fact that your convictio...

It's that time of year for goin' SHOPPING It's that time of year for seein' GRANDMA It's that time of year for lying to CHILDREN That's right, Santa doesn't exi...

SICK of being a loser Turned down at every turn! TIRED of being rejected I'm the king of crash and burn WHAT am I gonna do now? I need a little plan WAIT! I b...

I know I promised I'd write you a love song But instead I just wrote you a drunk song Because love is pathetic But seventy proof is no less than poetic You loo...

Joy to the world while you're decking all the halls Ya better watch out or we'll kick you in the balls Here we come a-wassailing Feliz Navidad Grandma got run o...

Santa didn't keep his promise, so he's getting his cookies and milk NO MORE All I wanted to get for Christmas was a Boba Fett Still in original packaging, but ...

I can feel you in my heart Even though we drift apart With those words you spoke to me Though I always disagree And I listen to the sound of Your sweet voice c...

Your pubes are on the soap cuz you never wash em off and I never say a THING There's wrappers on the floor and you never do the dishes and I never say a THING ...

Tearin' down the road doin' ninety In my tiny little Volkswagen on my way to Get a tank of gas I passed a cop with a radar gun waitin' for a Sucker like me to d...

I'm depressed So I wrote this song To express Everything that's wrong Like my mother Wouldn't let me go to a rated R Cool movie At the theater with my friends ...

My red nose the cause of all laughter Around here I am just a goddamn chaffeur Fucking Santa he's laughing he won't do a thing Choke on blood when you sing [Ch...

What would you do for a death burger (My I take your order now) Hello I would like a death burger With Cheese And fries And Nachoes (Will that be it) Yes I w...

In a crowd With no escape Is when I feel My privates wake! Got to find Some privacy Or they will see Me scratching me! [Chorus] My balls itch! They're itchin...

"For all you out there, who are dirty and weary For all those out there, Smelling stinky and sour For all you out there, who are in need of cleansing I hope you...

Oh, I get it You wanna run my life! Why don't you stick an antenna up my ass And make me your own satellite You bitch Why the hell you gotta make it so damn to...

My car is a PIECE OF SHIT! Wanna drive you off a cliff Watch you crash into a ravine For the things you did to me, you STUPID CAR! I wanna make myself a pipe b...

What if the world was made of glazed donuts? You would be like, "Man, that's fuckin' sweet, I can't believe the world is made of donuts" What if your hands were...

(Alex: Alex: Alex: ALEX! This is a slow song You can do that in the next one) I'm looking at you After it's all over And I don't feel quite the same That look ...

If you should ever decide you want to start a career in internet marketing If you engage in spam There's something you should know That I will hunt you down And...