(Identity Unknown) This is the Zodiac speaking, I like killing people because it=B9s so = much fun It is more fun than killing wild game in the forest, because ...

Fucking right Bank holiday Monday, By Sunday I was So let's fuck off to Alton Towers One or two, quite a few in the queue for the bumper cars Fit crack on the l...

He squidges in the van, All twenty four stones, He gets three kebabs and he eats them on his own, Quick trouser cough Nevis touches cloth, Fuck fuck hide behind...

One day after closing I was lying on me nest, When Stez shouts "get yer bags on, come on outside" So I grabbed me stripy tank-top, I 'ad beer stains on me vest,...

Yaaaaaaaaaw! Dick Head was a pratt, he drove a Skoda with extra lamps on, Always dickin' prattin', Looked like a reuseable tampon Tried to chat the birds up, He...

Well you ain't been goin' down the pub, You ain't been playing darts, You ain't been doin' what you should, You've been hangin' out with yer tart You've got fer...

Get at 'em There was a load bloody faries, In Buenos bloody Aries, With greasy hair and sweaty bums, They'd never heard of Bonningtons, It were a different cult...

I walked into the Nag's Head for to sustinate me belly, There was a fit crack in the corner but I knew her cunt was smelly, She smelt of rotting fish heads and ...

We all went down New Delih, We had too much curry and aching bellies Peter got gut rot and puked on the floor, Stez Styx banging on shithouse door I says, come ...

I walked into the Nag's Head for to sustinate me belly, There was a fit crack in the corner but I knew her cunt was smelly, She smelt of rotting fish heads and ...

A ya ya ya ya ya yaaar No petrol in the van, Knee deep in empty cans, We've lost the map, the tyre's flat, the bloody kid's been banned, We stopped off for some...

Took the crack to the flicks just the other night, We were groating on the back row, everything was alright, Then a smell like a fog turned my mind from sex, I ...

I've got an ugly face, With spots all over the place, I haven't got any mates, And me clothes have gone out of date I go to the pub on me own, And I drink me or...

Well, I spent last night trying to chuck me bird, She were clinging to me leg like an old sick turd, I said your tits are too small and your legs are too short,...

New face in the pub on a Friday night "You alright?" I asked where she worked, she said, "Iawok dahn sayan" She were feeling "kanna closhy" She were of t'"Neddi...

Get weavin' Well the fair comes down just once every year, The Macc Lads go there when they've supped their beer, So get weavin', With the Brut 33, And forget y...

Ah so The ducks are sitting and I making my list now, Macc Lads stagger in and their all fucking pissed, The fucking drunk bastards can't take their beer, Free ...

Well I want to sing a song about Lady Muck yoooh, Well, it weren't her real name, but it rhymed with fuck An' I'm gonna nacc me voice doin' this for too long, C...

Well, in this life there's a couple of certs, One is death and the other's a nurse, Well Lucy's old and they say she's passed it, But I gave her one and her tit...

She was the perfect woman, She was my kind of a bird, 'Cos she stayed in the kitchen and she never said a word She had real big tits and a lovely slappable arse...

I've been going t'same pub fer twenty year, It were half a crown then fer buy me beer, But they closed it down fer redecorate, They said we'll knock a wall down...

Well the weekend is coming and it's time for a bath, We're going to sup some Boddies and we'll have a good laugh, So leave the dog at home or it'll want some dr...

Sheep shaggers Went up in the hills, We was on a binge, Look for some pubs and up some minge Couldn't find us no beer, We just found sheep, So fuckin' many put ...

Get stuffed you arse bandit One of me best mates, He come from Macc, And we used to go out pulling crack, Now we know it were just a farce, 'Cos he's got spunk ...

It was Saturday night and we're dressed for the kill, I've got me rubbers, Stez wants his on the pill, Come on lads, stop hanging around, Get in the car, we'll ...

Come on lads and lasses will you finish up your glasses, Let's go home Now you know the regulations I don't want an explanation, Time to go Fuck off you twat, w...

Well, she wore big knickers, And she worked on t' sewage farm, I got me 'and down 'er jeans an' I nearly lost half me arm But after ten pints, Looked quite fit,...

Pint after pint after pint after pint we sup, Crack after crack after crack after crack we fuck, There's a pink giving me the wink, And she'll make me finger st...

Ten pints of Boddies and a barley wine, We've got to make the Bear's Head before closing time We're the Macc Lads, we were born in a pub, We like us ale and we ...

Where's the fucking party? Someone's in the kitchen eating pies and mucky tarts, Bammy's in the bathroom and he's lighting up his farts Now Peter's supping bitt...

Sup up, lad, I've spilt more ale down me waistcoat Than you've supped tonight Bonnington's or Willy's lads? Willy's tastes like piss I've got ten pints down me ...

Just take a look over there, Is that one fit with the long dark hair? Well she's got to be a mucky tart, Her mate looks like a madman's horse Can I have the fit...