Conspiracy theory number one
Jesus was a man from Mars
The stable was a pub called the Rising Sun
And the three wise men arrived in cars

Conspiracy theory number two
War is just a marketing plan
If you've got an army who'll die for you
You can be a marketing man

I heard it on the citizen's band

There's really nothing to it hardly
It's elementary
As easy as Alpha Bravo Charlie
As simple as ABC

I heard it on the citizen's band
I heard it from the citizen's band

Conspiracy theory number three
The government control who you are
And if your music's good for the economy
You can be a rock and roll star

There's really nothing to it hardly
It's elementary
As easy as Alpha Bravo Charlie
As simple as ABC

I lost the signal in a tunnel for a while
And heard some corporate rock
Some multi-national and at the end of the dial
I heard some manufactured pop

I pulled in to the side of the road
And re-tuned to 95 point I don't know

Citizen's band radio
The home of the stars
Tune into the breakfast show
And listen to the man from mars

Go, da, da, da, da, da, la, la, da, da, da, da
Da, da, da, da, da, da, la, da, da, da, da, da
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, de, la, la, la, de