Sitting in my house, and I know that I'm alone,
Feeling kinda horny got a tingle in my bone,
Go and get my pants off and a picture of Sharen Stone!

Heeeey Masterbater!

I go a little faster and it's feeling kinda nice,
Once aint enough so I had to do it twice,
If you want to spank the monkey,
I can give you good advice!

Heeeey Masterbater!

(Female moans, reaching climax)

I use some baby oil or a little vassiline,
Layin down a towel so I keep my carpet clean,
Never shake my hand cuz you don't know where it's beeen!

Heeeey Masterbater!

I do it in my car when I'm drivin down the street,
One hand on the wheel the other on my meat,
Can't get out of the car cuz I'm stickin to the seat!

Heeeey Masterbater!

(Man moans, goat baaa's, and man moans more)

Since I was a kid I have been a Masterbater,
Choke the chicken, holdin the knob, squeezin the tomata,
I flipped to Miss November, now I'm gonna decorate her!

Heeeey Masterbater!

Buffin the banana, missle lissin, shakin bakin,
Poundin on the Flounder, and it's mayanaise I'm makin,
Spank the frank, whack the carrot, got my hand a dakein!

HEEEEY MASTERBATER!

(Both man and woman moaning til end)