Welcome to Never Mind The Ballots The phone lines are now open If you'd like to put a question to the candidates the number to ring is oh five three two seven seven nine six four three
You want jobs? I've got jobs!
Hospitals? Top of my list!
Tax cuts and platform shoes
For every small businessman
Just give me your vote
Just give me your vote
Schools, prisons? Of course we'll build them!
Condoms for the American GIs!
Nuclear reactors breed like rabbits
Police oppression? You can have it, sir!
Just give me your vote
Put your cross in the box
Hello, we've got our first caller You're name's Martin Hello Martin You listened to our stated policy Well Martin to tell you the truth I couldn't agree with you more It's outrageous, disgusting But unlike my colleague on my right, we're the party who say what we do, do what we say You can bank on us Martin
Good evening, Shirley I'm so glad that you've rung The matter is as dear to me as it is to you Give me four years and I'll get right down to it Because unlike my little balding colleague on my left, we don't make promises we can't keep
You still there, Martin? Good, just one more thing Give us your vote
You want houses? See me afterwards
Want my autograph? See my bodyguard
Pre-election budget handouts
You want a war? No problem!
Just give me your vote
Just give me your vote