There's a made for TV movie
About Lucille Ball tonight
If you really wanna watch it
I guess that'd be alright with me

Well, I heard he used to beat her
Like she was a conga drum
They always slept in separate beds
But somehow they had a son

The neighbors were Vaudevillians
And the laughs came from a can
Even though the club was hoppin'
'Twas the pills that she was poppin' that did her in

Or maybe it was different
You know my facts aren't always straight
But they would never make a movie
If everything was great

Because happiness is boring
It's always black and white
The good times never last
And the chocolates move too fast for us all

There's a made for TV movie
About Lucille Ball tonight
If you really wanna watch it
I guess that'd be alright with me