Once there was a fellow and his name was Buzz
He was just a rookie cop, just a baby Buzz
He patroled the Sunset Strip in the land of the free and the home of the hip
He protected you and me from evil women like poor Alice D

Alice was the girl that all the hippies dread
And they called her sweet Alice the head
Alice it was plain to see, was full of pot and STD
She'd attract a great big crowd, because her inner piece was much too loud

Good Buzz did the thing that all the good Buzz must
Stuck his gun in Alice's back and said "This is a Buzz"
Shone the flashlight in her eyes, she began to hypnotise
Buzz said "What a wild sensation, guess this must be hallucination"

Love is so sensational, when you fall in love with eyes dilational
Now they're taking pills in shops, Buzz is not afraid of what
Buzz and Alice D have shown the way of where the Buzz might be some day
Buzz is still a cop of course, he's the pusher on the porch
He's protecting you and me from evil women like poor Alice D