Captain Wanker hits the gas he's driving like his head's on fire
Captain Wanker swerves to pass shouting over squealing tires
Captain Wanker always gets annoyed
That the drones on the freeway have to be destroyed
Blasting 'em into the void makes him feel overjoyed

Captain Wanker scans the crowd and calculates a quick way through
Captain Wanker thinks out loud like all super heroes do
Captain Wanker is so debonair
Cutting through a crowd of people like he just don't care
He ducks into a nearby phone booth and he just stays in there

A skintight suit, try to hide it
A skintight suit, stuck inside it
A skintight suit under his clothes
His pride will hide the side that no one knows

Captain Wanker grunts and groans as if he wanted someone to help
Captain Wanker makes it known, he has to save the world himself
Captain Wanker always feels afraid
That if he trusted anybody he could be betrayed
Workers all get overpaid, and help never makes the grade

A skintight suit, try to hide it
A skintight suit, stuck inside it
A skintight suit under his clothes
His pride will hide the side that no one knows

Captain Wanker VIP, a better man than all of the rest
Captain Wanker stands for me, the W is on my chest
Captain Wanker is my shadow side
And he'll fight for justice and a sense of pride
Shoving everybody else aside, he will not be denied

A skintight suit, a jelly belly
A skintight suit, it's gettin' smelly
A skintight suit under his clothes
His pride will hide the side that no one knows