Vernon was a company man
He kept his hair trimmed short
And his sideburns shaved
He was a Brill cream man
He liked Swiss and ham
He drank beer out of can
On Saturdays
He was a company man

Vernon was a company man
His hat glommed on to his head
Like a bottle cap
His face read
Like a topographical map
And he could chat like a bird
When there was nothing to say
He was a company man

Vernon was a company man
He had an Ex-wife and ex-kid
An ex-dog an ex-house
He played footsies with
A dead mans spouse
Then the Marlboro man
Dug him an early grave
He's a company man
He's a company man