Don't do anything mellow at the Whiskey
Jimmy says I'm so unfortunate
But let the people at the Whiskey be a bundle of nerves
And don't sing on fairness
'Cause if you do, your musical insurance better be paid up

Don't sing anything pretty at the Whiskey
Johnny says you'd best take my advice
'Cause the stony little crowd will get to talkin' even louder
And they'll smother you in hissin'
And if they do, your musical insurance better be paid up

Oh, don't do anything mellow at the Whiskey
Johnny says I'm so, so unfortunate
But let the people at the Whiskey be a bundle of nerves
And don't sing on what they're missin'

Like Sunday mornings filled with flowers
Just goin' fifteen miles up north
'Cause if you do, your musical insurance better be paid up
'Cause if you do, your musical insurance better be paid up