I wouldn't be so alone
If they knew my name in every home
Kevin Spacey would call on the phone
But I'd be too busy

Come back to the old five and dime
Cameron Diaz, give me a sign
I'd make you smile all the time
Your conversation would compliment mine

I will talk and Hollywood will listen
See them bow at my every word
Mr Spielberg, look just what you're missing
Doesn't that seem a little absurd, bow at my every word

Buy up the rights to my book
Live on a ranch from what the box office took
I'll go and visit the set
They'll call me their savior

All the peoples will scorn
Celebrity lives on the moon
But I'll be back home in June
To promote the sequel

I will talk and Hollywood will listen
See them bow at my every word
Mr Spielberg, look just what you're missing
Doesn't that seem a little absurd, bow at my every word