it's hard to be a jew on christmas,
my friends won't let me join in any games,
and i can't sing christmas songs or decorate a christmas tree,
or leave water out for rudolph 'cause there's something wrong with me!
my people don't believe in Jesus Christ Divinity!
i'm a jew a lonely jew on christmas!

Hannukah is nice but
why is it, that Santa passes over my house every year
and instead eating ham i have to eat kosher Latkes
instead of Silent Night i'm singing "Hu Hagtol Gavish"
and what the fuck is up with lighting all these fucking candles tell me please
i'm a jew a lonley jew
i can't be merry, cause i'm hebrew
on Christmas

hey little boy i couldn't help but hear,
you feelin left out of Christmas cheer
well i've come to say you that you shouldn't be sad,
this is the one month that you should be glad
cause it's nice to be a jew on christmas
you don't have to deal with the season at all
you don't have to be on your best behavior or give to charity
you don't have to go to Grandma's house with your alchoholic family

AND I DONT HAVE TO SIT ON SOME FAKE SANTA'S LAP AND HAVE
HIM BREATHE HIS STINKY BREATH ON ME!

(that's right you're a jew)

A STYLIN JEW

it's a GOOD time to be HEBREW

ON CHRISTMAS