Everyone on Christmas
Is jumping up and down
Why oh why on Christmas
Do I wake with a frown

The houses give me vertigo
With all those blinky lights
Paper reindeers in their yards
It's such a tacky sight

I hate the taste of peppermint,
Eggnog or gingerbread
I don't like red or even green
I'd rather orange instead.

I hate christmas sweaters
And christmas jewelry
I hate nasty jello molds
And weird crap on the tree

I dread the Christmas spirit
I dread the Christmas smiles
I dread the Christmas family time
I dread the Christmas styles

Christmas causes stress
Christmas gives me fear
Christmas makes me angry
Instead of bringing cheer
Why oh why does Christmas come every year?

It's minus 30 outside
And will be for awhile
But everyone keeps smiling
Their creepy Christmas smile

I hate shopping malls
And driving in the snow
But I feel forced to buy presents
For everyone I know

So I drink too much wine
To ward off Christmas party blues
I end up with a bunch of crap
That I'll never use

There's always a pervert
Waiting under mistletoe
I don't want your jingle bells
Coming near my Christmas bow

Christmas causes stress
Christmas gives me fear
Christmas makes me angry
Instead of bringing cheer
Why oh why does Christmas come every year

You suck, Christmas