Shary: If there's a task that must be done,
Don't turn your tail and run,
Don't pout, don't sob,
Just do a half-assed job!

If you cut every corner
It is really not so bad,
Everybody does it,
Even mom and dad
If nobody sees it,
Then nobody gets mad,
Bart: It's the American way!

Shary: The policeman on the beat
Needs some time to rest his feet
Chief Wiggum: Fighting crime is not my cup of tea!
Shary: And the clerk who runs the store
Can charge a little more
For meat!
Apu: For meat!
Shary: And milk!
Apu: And milk!
Both: From 1984!

Shary: If you cut every corner,
You'll have more time for play,
Shary & OFF: It's the American waaaaay!