To "if you give me your attention"
If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am
I'm a brilliant math'matician - also something of a ham
I have tried for numerous degrees, in fact I've one of each;
Of course that makes me eminently qualified to teach
I understand the subject matter thoroughly, it's true,
And I can't see why it isn't all as obvious to you
Each lecture is a masterpiece, meticulously planned,
Yet everybody tells me that I'm hard to understand,
And I can't think why

My diagrams are models of true art, you must agree,
And my handwriting is famous for it's legibility
Take a word like "minimum" (to choose a random word),
This was performed at a blackboard, and the professor wrote:

For anyone to say he cannot read that, is absurd
The anecdotes I tell get more amusing every year,
Though frankly, what they go to prove is sometimes less than clear,
And all my explanations are quite lucid, I am sure,
Yet everybody tells me that my lectures are obscure,
And I can't think why

Consider, for example, just the force of gravity:
It's inversely proportional to something - let me see -
It's r^3 - no, r^2 - no, it's just r, I'll bet -
The sign in front is plus - or is it minus, I forget -
Well, anyway, there is a force, of that there is no doubt
All these formulas are trivial if you only think them out
Yet students tell me, "i have memorized the whole year through
Ev'rything you've told us, but the problems I can't do"
And I can't think why!