Dear mom i'm sorry for being such an ass
I killed the cat i broke your glass
I'm sorry i'm such a pain in the neck
Nobody's perfect but what the heck
I'm sorry that i didn't pay attention
I'm sorry that I'm on suspension
It wasn't me, honestly, It was joe
I'm a good boy

Dear dad i'm sorry for kicking your ass
I know you're weak and soft like grass
I shouldn't have listened to the voices in my head
It's not my fault, it's paranoia
I'm sorry for robbing all your booze
And giving it to hobo dudes
I didn't want to but they made me
I'm a good boy

Dear drug dealer i'm sorry i kissed your ass
Then you knocked me out with a bit of brass
I thought if i sucked up you'd let me go
See, i'm depressed so now you know
I'm sorry i gave you in to the cops
Telling them you was growing illegal "crops"
I wouldn't have done it if you had been nice
I'm a good boy

Dear rover i'm sorry for booting you hard in the ass
Whilst you was sniffing the drug grown grass
I'm sorry that i stood on your tail
It wasn't my fault, i was pissed on ale
I'm sorry that i didn't give you doggy treats
It's not my fault the tin was jammed
I'm a good boy

Dear joe i'm really sorry for blaming your ass
You was actually in the gym that day
But i'm already in so much trouble
I guess i'm not such a good boy