* = Talking

Both-
You and I are
So awfully different
Too awfully different
To ever be palls

Stewie- *Do you want to go first?*
Brian- *Yeah I'll go*

Brian- Your favorite hero is the Marquee de Sad
Stewie- *Oh you're one to talk,* You get a stiffy from Phylicia Rashad
Brian- *Oh one time*

Stewie- I've a style flair, just look at my hip hair
Brian- *Oh yeah, that's quite a nice do there*
Stewie- *Oh thanks*
Brian- *FOR ME TO POOP ON*
Stewie- *What?*
Brian- *Oh come on you look like Charlie brown*
Stewie- *Bite me snoopy*

Both-
Theres not,
A whole lot,
That weve got
To agree on

Brian- ‘Cause I like the strains of a classical score
Stewie- And I like that singer who looks like a whore
Brian- *Rickie Martin?*
Stewie- *Luv' ‘em*

Both-
Were too different to ever be palls

Both-
You and I are
(doo doo doop)
So awfully different
(doo doo doop)
Too awfully different
(doo doo doop)
To ever be palls
(doo doo doo doo doo doo dooyadoo doop)

Brian- Your head's as massive as a meteorite
Stewie- *Oh very funny,* You have a weenie like a Christmas tree light
Brian- I'd bet money
You'll marry a honey
Who's pretty and funny
And her name will be Ted
Stewie- *Oh a gay joke*
Brian- *I just work with what you give me*
Both- *You might think we're N*SYNC, but we stink! As a duo*

Brian- Because you get a kick out of carnage and guts
Stewie- And you get a kick out of stroking your-
Brian- *Whoa, whoa, you can't say that on TV*
Stewie- *What ego?*
Brian- *Nevermind*

Both-
We're too different to ever be palls!