I got ten fingers and ten little toes
An overactive bladder and a runny nose
Making all kinds of messies on the carpet floor
I am baby – hear me roar

Well! I dove into this gig headfirst six months ago
Now I'm the leading actor in a live stage show
For nine months prior I just made mom fat
But the rumor is you had something to do with that

So watch me daddy – I promise I won't break your heart
Yeah you just watch me daddy – I swear that I'm the best for the part
I know I make you crazy when it's time for my meal
But at least it isn't gas, you know I'm smiling for real
So you just watch me, daddy – I promise I won't break your heart

Now crawling towards the kitchen, crawl right down the hall
Crawling towards the basement I drive daddy up the wall
Stimulus, response – got my parents in the groove
'Cause nothing's gonna pacify my need to move

Well! I dove into this gig headfirst eight months ago
Now I'm the leading actor in a live stage show
Impressing everybody with the noises I make
Now it's your turn to get me for mommy's sake

Watch me daddy – I promise I won't break your heart
Yeah, yeah watch me daddy – I swear that I'm the best for the part
I'm a born performer and a natural clown
I'm sitting up and I'm getting down
So you just watch me, daddy – I promise I won't break your heart

Now I'm toddling and a-waddling, I'm all over the place
Breakfast on my shirt, dirt on my face
Throwing my food, teasing the cat,
Making eyes at the ladies – yeah, I like it like that

Well! I dove into this gig headfirst a year ago
And I'm still the leading actor in a live stage show
The star of every party and the favorite son
At least until my parents have another one

Watch me daddy – I promise I won't break your heart
Yeah you just watch me daddy – I swear that I'm the best for the part
Oh, it's not always easy, but we'll be OK
'Cause I know no matter what you'll love me anyway
So you just watch me daddy – I promise I won't break your heart