chorus:
science is wonderful
science is grand
but theres one thing about science
that i dont understand
they can build a bomb to destroy the world
they can put a man on the moon
but they cant find one safe and easy way
to keep sperm out of the wom

Mike and Ann were Catholic and they didnt want any kids
but the church said they had to use rhythm so that is what they did
do you know theres a name for people who practice rhythm faithfully
yup - we call em parents - now Mike and Ann have a family of three
chorus Jane and Lynn and Catherine put their faith in the IUD
wasnt long before all of them were mothers to be
so Catherine got a diaphragm the next time round cause she didnt know what else to do
now Jane and Lynn have one kid each - Catherine has two

chorus

if men could get pregnant, you know what wed see
birth control research would be bigger than the defence industry
theyve got a million medical marvels to delay your trip to the tom
but they cant find one safe and easy way to keep sperm out of the wom

now I grew up in the 60s and we all went on the pill
till we saw it was making us moody, fat, depressed and ill
the trouble is the fellows all got used to it, they thought it was the norm
now you show a safe* to a 60s man, the poor darling cant perform

chorus

* A 60's term for condom