Townspeople:
Oh, there's nothing halfway
About the Iowa way to treat you,
When we treat you
Which we may not do at all
There's an Iowa kind of special
Chip-on-the-shoulder attitude
We've never been without
That we recall
We can be cold
As our falling thermometers in December
If you ask about our weather in July
And we're so by God stubborn
We could stand touchin' noses
For a week at a time
And never see eye-to-eye
But what the heck, you're welcome,
Join us at the picnic
You can eat your fill
Of all the food you bring yourself
You really ought to give Iowa a try
Provided you are contrary,
We can be cold
As our falling thermometer in December
If you ask about our weather in July
And we're so by God stubborn
We can stand touchin' noses
For a week at a time
And never see eye-to-eye
But we'll give you our shirt
And a back to go with it
If your crops should happen to die

Farmer:
So, what the heck, you're welcome,
Glad to have you with us

Farmer and Wife:
Even though we may not ever mention it again

Townspeople:
You really ought to give Iowa
Hawkeye Iowa
Dubuque, Des
Moines, Davenport, Marshalltown,
Mason City, Keokuk, Ames,
Clear Lake
Ought to give Iowa a try!