The farmer he got plowed
The bricklayer got plastered
The mechanic he got tanked
The construction worker got blasted
And Daddy beat up Mommy and broke her collarbone for good luck
Everybody's drunk
Everybody's wasted
Everybody's drinkin' on the jo

The garbageman got trashed
The janitor got messy
The taxi driver got smashed
The waitress she got tipsy
In Kansas City, New York City
Great big city, itty-bitty city
Everybody's drunk
Everybody's wasted
Everybody's drinkin' on the jo

There's a whole lot of places that I ain't been
A whole lotta things that I ain't seen
A whole lotta things I'll never be
The generation that would change the world
Is still looking for it's car keys

The terorist got bombed
The President got hit
Security was tight
The Secret Service got lit
FBI
CIA
DWI
USA
Everybody's drunk
Everybody's wasted
Everybody's stoned
And there's nothing that's gonna change it
'Cause everybody's drunk
Everybody's wasted
Everybody's drinkin' on the job