One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Two can be as bad as one
It's the loneliest number since, well, the number one
Listen up, it gets worse

No, is the saddest experience you'll ever know
Yes, it's the saddest experience you'll ever know
Because one is the loneliest number that you ever do
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever know

It's just no good anymore, babe, since you went away
And now I spend my time just making rhymes of yesterday
All my trouble seems so far away
'Cause one is the loneliest number that you will ever do
Yes, one is the loneliest number that you'll ever know

One is the loneliest number
One is the loneliest number
One is the loneliest number
That you'll ever, ever, ever, ever do

Well, I'm not kidding you
Oh, I'm so depressed
I need a nap and a good therapist
Don't you hate to eat alone?
Bitter party of one, ah, that's all