I hate the skydome and the CN tower too
I hate Nathan Phillips Square and the Ontario Zoo
The rents too high, the airs unclean
The beaches are dirty, and the people are mean
And the women are big, and the men are dum
And the children are loopy cause they live in a slum
The water is polluted and the mayors a dork
They dress real bad and they think they're New York
In Toronto, Ontario

(spoken)

You know, I think I hate all of Ontario
Oh ya me too

I hate Thunderbay and Ottawa
Kitchener, Windsor, and Oshawa
London sucks, and the Great Lakes sucks
And Sarnia sucks, and Turkey Point sucks
I took a trip to Ontario, to see Brian in Sarnia
He beat me up and he stole my pants and he put me on a tree
I went to see the Maple Leafs, and got hit in the head with a puck
I don't know even how they did it, i mean i was playing the organ at the time

Ontario, sucks
Yup, actually you know nowI really think about it, i think i pretty much hate every gosh darn province and territory in our country
Well except Albeta
Ya, ya I love Alberta
It's very nice, lots of cows and trees and rocks and dirt

but,
I hate Newfoundland cause they talk so weird
And Prince Edward Island is, too small
Nova Scotia's dumb cause its a name of a bank
New Brunswick doesn't have a good mall
Quebec is revolting and it makes me mad
Ontario sucks, Ontario sucks

Manitoba's population density is 19 people per square kilometer, isnt that dumb?
Saskatchewan is boring and the people are old
And as for the territories they are too cold
And the only really good thing about the province of British Columbia is that it's right next to us
Cause Alberta, doesnt suck
but Calgary does