I guess I lied to you when I told you I like baseball
It's not so much the game I like, it's the hats

Ed, do you see this black band 'round my neck? (oohh yeah)
It's not just fashion (oh really? )
Hartz made it to protect me from ticks, fleas, and gnats
I couldn't care less, what's in a chocolate mousse?
I couldn't care less, what are the five fruits in five-alive juice?
I couldn't care less, how old are ernie and bert?
I couldn't care less, where does barney rubble work?

Well shaggy said to velma, "hey now, velma, how ya doin'? "
And velma said, "geesh, shag, I'm just fine"

And daphne said to fred, "hey let's get drunk down in the forest"
And all night fred was yackin' up red wine

I couldn't care less, why was fonzie cool?
I couldn't care less, are the sweat hogs still in school?
I couldn't care less, how do they fill the caramel bar?
I couldn't care less, if my car says the door is ajar?
Well I wish I had a nickname like crusher, snake, or kenneth
'cause guys with nicknames always get the gals
When I grow up I'll name my children alice, albert, and alfred (really cool names)
I'll call them for supper like this: "dinner's ready, als!"

I couldn't care less, what morton downey says?
I couldn't care less, what's on the head of my pez?
I couldn't care less, do zoodles need a trained zookeeper?
I couldn't care less, why's the super big gulp cheaper?

I couldn't care less, what's in a chocolate mousse? (ground-up antlers)
I couldn't care less, what are the five fruits in five-alive juice?
(apples, cheese, broccoli)
I couldn't care less, how old are ernie and bert? (they're like four or something)
I couldn't care less, where does barney rubble work? (nobody knows!)

I couldn't care less, why was fonzie cool?
I couldn't care less, are the sweat hogs still in school?