Now if you're feeling miserable, if you're feeling blue,
Here's a little ditty that'll help to pull you through,
All the clouds will disappear, the grey skies turn to blue:
Just stick your finger in your ear and go ting-a-ling-a-loo.

Now suppose you've got the fell pest, the gout and goose's cough,
A severe attack of hiccups and your kneecap's just dropped off,
The surgeon says "We'd operate, but the anaesthetic's gone,"
You just look up and smile at him and say "You carry on."

"I'll stick me finger in me ear and go ting-a-ling-a-loo,
Me finger in me ear and go ting-a-ling-a-loo,
I'll just be like Nelson at the Battle of Waterloo,
I'll stick me finger in me ear and go ting-a-ling-a-loo."

Now in '14 and in '39, war raised it's ugly head,
The bombs they fell on England, and one fell on my shed,
But we fought and beat the Germans 'cos we knew just what to do:
We stuck our fingers in our ears and went ting-a-ling-a-loo.

Prince Philip said "Get your fingers out" and that cut me to the quick,
We got our fingers out, but that didn't do the trick;
So follow your true leaders with all your might and main:
Be like Jenkins, Heath and Wilson and stick 'em back again!

Oh stick your finger in your ear and go ting-a-ling-a-loo,
Your finger in your ear and go ting-a-ling-a-loo,
Remember what old Gladstone said in 1892:
Stick your finger in your ear and go ting... a... ling... a... loo!