Did I step on your trumpet or did I lump
Lump them in with you?
(Did he step on your trumpet or did he lump?)

I put your name on the ballot 'cause you should run
Though you don't want to
(He put your name on the ballot, thought you should run)

I been called the wet blanket
By cranks who I out rank with no thanks
Who do not have a clue

Yes, I know how to be quiet, just one more thing
I made you something
(He thinks he knows how to be quiet, made you something)

I wrote for you a lovely sonnet
'Bout two great friends
Yours truly and you

We'll grant just one social skill, share a gesture of goodwill
How I try to relate with my shipmates
Then I just start blurting out the first thing on my mind

How am I lookin' in your frilly bonnet with the diamond on it
I guess I better go
(How's he looking in your frilly bonnet with the diamond on it?)

I'm a people magnet
When I wear your jacket
Good luck gettin' this

Pleasing people, is so predictable
We love you now, then stab you
How many times I obsess, and am making a mess
Failing to impress you in all that I can't do

Would you take care of my pet parrot and feed him these?
He speaks less than me
(Would you take care of his pet parrot and kill him please?)

You speak so much about my casket, my body basket
Did I do something wrong?
(You speak so much about his casket, his body basket)

We'll grant one more social clue, the landfill shall be home to you
All my ships sailing relations have finally found
Who I am made out to be, me and free of

Pleasing people, is so predictable
We love you now, then stab you
How many times I obsess, and am making a mess
Failing to impress you in all that I can't

Be just who you're made to be
Papa is so mighty pleased with thee