We ain't going to the party
We ain't going to the game
We ain't going to the disco
Ain't gonna cruise down main

We're stealing people's mail
stealing people's mail
stealing people's mail
On a friday night

Drivin' in the mountains
Winding 'round and 'round
Rummage thru your mailboxes
Take your mail back to town

And we got license plates, wedding gifts, tax returns
Checks to politicians from real estate firms
Money, bills and cancelled checks
Pretty funny pictures of your kids

We're gonna steal your mail
On a Friday night
We're gonna steal your mail
By the pale moonlight

We got a grocery sackful after grocery sackful
After grocery sackful after grocery sackful
After grocery sackful after grocery sackful
Of the private lives of you

People say that we're crazy
We're sick and all alone
But when we read your letters
We're rolling on the floor

We got license plates, wedding gifts, tax returns
Checks to politicians from real estate firms
Money, bills and cancelled checks
We cut relationships with your friends

We're gonna steal your mail
On a Friday night
We're gonna steal your mail
By the pale moonlight

We better not get caught
We'll be dumped in institutions
Where we'll be drugged and shocked
'Til we come out born-again Christians