You pulled up at the house
At half past seven,
In your '69 Impala
Shook hands with my father
And we stopped off at the drug store
By the drive-in,
For some Trojans and a six-pack,
Still your eyes kept wandering back to her,
It's always her
So let's get one thing straightened out here, sir

If you think you're seeing double,
Let me save you some trouble
This ain't no two-for-one bargain here, mister
'Cause I'm much more than just twice shy,
I've had enough two-timing guys,
Who only want me 'cause they want my sister

My eyes are just as blue as hers, my hair is just as fine,
And the tattoo on her lower back's exactly just like mine
But if you look beneath the surface,
We're as different as can be,
'Cause there's just one heart that beats for you,
And that heart belongs to me,
And not to her, it's always her,
So let's get one thing straight if I'm your girl

And if tomorrow you should die,
My sister would not bat an eye
She doesn't even know your name
She's going with some other guy
As long as she is still around,
I'll always have a trace of doubt
I need to know your love is real, but how?

We're all dressed up, the flowers sure are pretty
Mother pays her last respects
I look around, no one suspects,
That it was me who put the Drano in her coffee
And now that she is underground,
I'll know that you're not hanging 'round,
For her, no, not for her
And now I'll know your love is true for sure

It pains my heart to think of her,
A rotting, stinking, maggot-infested,
Bloated, and pus-oozing corpse beneath earth
You can't imagine just how much I miss her,
But now I know you want me, not my sister