A= Airline Clerk
D= Drunk

{phone ringing}
A: Ajax Airlines
D: Ajax Airlines
A: That's right sir
The proud bird with the cast iron tail
D: Ah stow the commercial Charlie Brown
I just wanna know what time your Eleven O Six
Leaves for San Antonio?
A: It leaves at 11:06
D: Okay
A: We have tourist and first class
D: Oh that's all right
A: In first class you get an extra vegetable
D: Huh?
A: You can get an extra vegetable in first class
D: Okay, I'll take an onion
A: We're going to have some turbulance
D: No I'll stick with the onion
Do you serve Chinese food?
A: Yes we serve everybody food
D: Do you serve {censored}?
A: Sir, I'm going to forget you said that
D: You're one ain't cha?
A: Say let's get back to the flight now
This is a non-stop flight you know
D: How much are hostresses?
A: Oh they're beautiful
D: Are they topless?
A: No sir, regulations, they must wear hats
D: Do they mess around?
A: Look do you want to go on this flight or don't you?
D: What's your movie?
A: Uh no movie on this flight
D: No movie?
A: No sir, a rodeo
D: That's fantastic, I'll bet you clean up on that huh
A: Uh no sir, the stewardesses take care of that
D: Are they topless?
A: Sounds like you have a one track mind
D: Sounds like you never saw a topless hostess
A: Sir Please Look, I'm very busy
D: And I'm just a nobody Is that it?
A: Now I didn't say that
D: Just remember I'm a VIQ
A: P
D: Huh?
A: P P You're a VIP!
D: Well then treat me like one you communist
A: Oh sir, sir
D: Hey what's San Antonio like this time of year anyway?
A: Oh it's beautiful Is this going to be a round trip?
D: No way I'm just gonna fly down there and turn around
And fly right back
A: Now we're getting nowhere
D: Well thanks to me
A: Amen
D: Boy Did I eat that onion already?
Help me check this sucker out now
She leaves at 7:47
A: Uh no No, the plane is a 747 It leaves at 11:06
D: 10-4
A: Okay Well Goodbye
D: Hold it Just a minute here
A: Sir I'm very busy
D: Well how about me? I'm running around like a chicken with my
Legs cut off
A: Oh boy
D: Operater, would you trace this call and tell me where I am?
A: Sir, this is Ajax Airlines
D: Cancel the call operater This is Ajax Airlines?
A: Ajax Airlines Remember it costs no more to relax
In the heavenly skys of Ajax
D: Well now we're getting nowhere
A: Thanks to you
D: Amen
A: Sir you're holding up customers
D: I'm holding up customers? You got a lot of nerve,
For the charges you price
A: Sir I am very busy I've got two calls to make, five on hold, and
Seven lines blinking
D: And a partridge in a pear tree
A: Well that does it!
D: Well it's about time
A: It's about time
D: Time Oh my gosh Time What time does the Eleven O Six
Leave for San Antonio?
A: In exactly three minutes
D: Hold that plane
A: I can't do that
D: You better hold that plane
A: Look sir, don't threaten me
D: I'm not threatening, I'm just telling you better hold that plane
A: Why should we hold the plane for you?
D: Because I'm the pilot