(Skip Ewing/Donny Kees)

Let me tell you 'bout my alma mater
Got educated by a rich man's daughter
I didn't have to read a single book
One lesson is all it took
My diploma reads First Class Fool
I graduated from Heartbreak School

They don't teach science they don't teach math
Our love is history is your only class
You do your homework every lonely night
Study memories till the morning light
Forget about her is the golden rule
That's what they teach you in heartbreak school

You don't get recess you don't get lunch
You don't get vacation when summer time comes
You don't get in cause they think your smart
You pay tuition with a broken heart

I learned to cry and I learned to moan
I learned I hate to spend my nights alone
I studied hard on how do I forget you (then I)
Wrote a speech on wish I'd never met you
I got accepted to who needs U
I was the Valedictorian at Heartbreak school

You don't get recess you don't get lunch
You don't get vacation when summer time comes
You don't get in cause they think your smart
You pay tuition with a broken heart

So come enroll if you've been mistreated
Get extra credit if your baby cheated
All you need are tears and misery
To start working toward your PhD
Everybody past the age of two
Gets educated at Heartbreak School
You'll never find yourself a love that's true
'Til you've graduated from Heartbreak School