Transcribed by: ldoering@enginumichedu (Laurence Doering)
Subject: Detachable Penis
Date: 15 Dec 92 07:26:20 GMT
Detatchable Penis, by King Missile
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again
This happens all the time
It's detachable

[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]

This comes in handy a lot of the time
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time
So I told them if it pops up to let me know
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either
I was starting to get desperate
I really don't like being without my penis for too long
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven
Some guy was selling it
I had to buy it off him
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on I was happy again Complete
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis

[background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for
a while, then out]