VERSE 1
FUCK YOU, Holy Man- I'm getting this shit off
It started at birth, you took a piece of my dick off
I cried as it ripped off, I ain't made that decision
about circumcision---or my own religion
You gave me a talis, you gave me a yamlake
Why don't you give me back my foreskin for Chanukah?
Sh'ma, Yis'Rael, Ado-Noy, El-Oh-Hay-Noo! ?
No disrespect, but I'm a choose who I'ma pray to
I'm breakin' bullshit rules and I'm goin' to heaven
Partyin' on Sabbath and I'm already in heaven
I ain't listenin' rabbi, you don't know his plan
'Cuz you created God in the image of man

VERSE 2
I'm livin' in sin, Father-- I confess-- PLEASE FORGIVE ME
We're not married yet--and oh my God-- she lives with me!
God don't give a fuck if you're married or divorced
Marriage is human law, it ain't got a divine source
You think in colonial days, you got us to behave?

[Nah]--them women [only] stayed married 'cuz they wuz fuckin' they slaves

Ducks mate for life and their commitment ain't phony
but you ever seen a duck have a wedding ceremony! ?
I said screw the marriage vows and I'm goin' to heaven
I divorced my wife and I'm already in heaven
Don't lecture me, Priest you don't know his plan
'Cuz you created God in the image of man

VERSE 3
God invents orgasms, you invent abstinence
You call sex a sin--and look at what's happened since
How much sexual dysfunction plagues the masses?
How many priests stuck their dicks in little boys' asses?
Sexual suppression leads to rape and aggression
It makes Catholic men solicit the hooking profession
So here's my confession-- I LOVE God's creation
I won't burn in hell for ejaculation!
I'm shootin' all the loads I want and I'm goin' to heaven
Oh my fuckin' God----------I'm already IN heaven
I ain't hearin' you, Reverend-- you don't know his plan
--You created God in the image of man

VERSE 4
How you gonna look me in my face and sing "Amazing Grace?"
--but if I make a mistake--- "eternity's a fiery place! ?"
You ain't got no power that ain't in me too, Priest
Christ was a Jew and he came to me too, Priest
---he said the same to me too, Priest I just interpret it differently
Through absolute grace we can heal ourselves instantly
Damnation?--That wont happen -- no matter what you insist--
Jesus didn't say eternal hell exists!
I'm forgiving my own sins and I'm going to heaven
I don't believe in hell so I'm already in heaven
I ain't trust you, Father, you couldn't know his plan
when you created God in the image of man

VERSE 5
God is perfect love -- She don't get angry or vengeful
She ain't like a parent who would threaten to end you
and she wont ever condemn you--- evil cannot exist
outside of the human mind I ain't no atheist
but what makes YOU theology and what makes THEM mythology
Why is someone crazy if they believe astrology?
Christ defied biology and you call Islam crazy! ?
Religious wars and bullshit do not cease to amaze me
I love God without religion and I'm going to heaven
earin' meat on Friday and I'm already in heaven!
Don't lecture me, Pastor, you couldn't know his plan
you created God in the image of man

I'm available to do this jam at your local church, template, or synagogue
and if this jam offends you ask yourself
WHAT WOULD JESUS DO!