I know Seymour's the greatest,
But I'm dating a semi-sadist
So I got a black eye,
and my arm's in a cast

Still that Semour's a cutie
Well, if not, he's got inner beauty
And I dream of a place,
Where we can be together, at last

A matchbox of our own
A fence of real chainlink
A grill out on the patio
Disposal in the sink
A washer and a dryer,
And an ironing-machine
In a tract house that we share,
Somewhere that's green

He rakes and trims the grass
He loves to mow and weed
I cook like Betty Crocker,
And I look like Donna Reed
There's plastic on the furniture
To keep it neat and clean
In the Pine-Sol scented air,
Somewhere that's green

Between our frozen dinner,
and our bed-time nine-fifteen
We snuggle watching Lucy,
On a big, enormous, twelve-inch screen

Oh, his December bride,
He's father, he knows best
The kids play Howdy-Doody,
As the Sun sets in the West
A picture out of Better Homes
And Gardens magzine
Far from Skid Row,
I dream we'll go
Somewhere that's Green