-Hey you over there at the piano
-what, me?
-yes you, would you like to write a song about local composer Goff Richars?
-why I'd love to
-well

I love Goff Richards and he loves me
If he was any sweeter i could put him in my tea
He writes the song to make the children sing
Oh Goff, you are a king

(hey kids, come over here and meet uncle Goff)

We love Goff Richards and he loves us
I never knew him but I met him on a bus
He's a valued member of the national trust
He knows his bluetits from his bush

(birds, that is)

I love Goff Richards and he loves me
I met him at a disco doing the Hokey-kokey
In with his left leg and then he pulled it out
and then he shook it all about

(legs, that is)

I met Goff richards at the YMCA
I never knew that big Geoff was gay
he came over to me and asked me for a dance
so I kicked him in the nads

(nads that is, oh yes)

this is the end of out song!