Here's father, his heart screwed on
Yes, here he's got it I'm sure
'Cause he lost his life in an accident
Found his heart in the man next door
What exactly's gonna happen
When they do transplant the brain
Will my borrowed brain still compute the same
Or will my daughter suffer so much more

Here comes the girl, she's got her head screwed on
But it ain't screwed on right
Her ambition is to be a prostitute
But the breaks just weren't right
What exactly's gonna happen, tell me
When her father finds out
That his virgin daughter has bordello dreams
And that he's the one she wants to try out
Yeah

There's ma, she's living dangerously
It's a cinch she'll try it anything twice
She thinks she can run right to the whirlpool's edge
And stop herself just in time
What exactly's gonna happen
When she finally fizzles out
The lovers will just be sucked into
To see what the colours of death are all about

Here's the son, has his legs a-screwed on
Yeah, they're screwed on pretty tight
But his brain is loose and it ain't no use
He's already lost the fight
What exactly's gonna happen
When he's finally realized
That he can't play his guitar like EG Jim
Or write St Augustine if he tried

That's what happens
When a family finds out
That they've been in orbit now for a thousand years
And need a thousand more to climb out