Mom made beans for dinner
you know i ate em all
said come get your coat on
goin to the mall gona visit santa
and sit apon his knee
but all that I could think about
was how not to cut the cheese
waiting there for santa
thought that id explode
the gas bubble grew bigger
with every ho ho ho
try my best to hide that I was doing swell
but when Isat down on santas lap he hollard whats that smell !

~chorus~
I farted on santas lap
now Christmas is gonna stink for me
I farted on santas lap
now ill get &*&*&*& under my Christmas tree

I asked him for a baseball
I asked him for a bat
I asked him for some ice skates
but I'll get none of that
I asked him for a lot of things
I'll have to do with out
when i sat down on santas lap
I let one slip out
~chorus~
On Christmas eve I snuck out
of my bed with out a sound
went down to the living room to take a look around
and then I saw santa next to the Christmas tree
his arms were full of preasents and they were all for me
put them in a pile got up to turn around
then blew a fart with such great force our tree all most
so I'll always charish that speacial moment when
I realized even old saint nick rips one now and then
~chorus~