It is time to begin It is just time to remember The olden times Who will be narrated now Since that time sea gets dry, and has turned into a desert The mountain...

I can't get to sleep tonight No matter how hard I try Cause it's cold and it's dark And the wind is a whistlin' And I can't seem to put out the light Momma's b...

Beelzeboss: I AM COMPLETE! Tenacious D: (BOTH) Fuuuck Beelzeboss: YES YOU ARE F**KED, SHIT OUT OF LUCK! NOW I'M COMPLETE AND MY COCK YOU WILL SUCK! THIS WORLD...

The pagan world will destroy Christianity, From there where no trace only ashes of the cross And the Bible lines fall silently on the ground, Covering with itse...

Stabbing her with my bowie while i'm naked Painted from head to toe i'm so aroused Ohh! Stabbing her with my bowie while i'm naked Painted from head to toe i'm...

JB: The mission is clear, I'm going over there I'm going to do the mission I flip around the corner, Flat as a pancake And then i- aww noo! A camera Stay back...

JB:Car chase city, That's the name, Of my game It was all proven, It was totally lame! KG really fucking, Blew us some ass! Now we're fucking, Headed for a, Tot...

All you people up there in City Hall, You're fuckin' it up for the people that's in the streets This is a song for the people in the streets, Not the people Cit...

Can?t you see he?s the man, Let me hear you applaud, He is more than a man He's a shiny golden god If you think it's time to fucking rock, And fucking roll, ou...

KG-D'you think that umDude d'you think that when the album When this is out, D'you think this'll make us umm more attractive to the ladies? JB-pshhyeah In fac...

So, um If I was just gonna say one thing to y'all tonight I'd say, set the artist free I'm talking about this artist in here, set it free I'm saying, quit your ...

Dear penis, I don't think I like you any more, You used to watch me shave, Now all you do is stare at the floor, Oh, Dear penis, I don't like you any more It u...

[Chorus] Cause it's the pick! of Destiny, child You know where we'll be rockin cause it's fucking insane Its just the pick! of Destiny, child More precious than...

Dio has rocked for a long, long time, Now it's time for him to pass the torch He has songs of wildebeests and angels, He has soared on the wings of a demon It'...

[spoken] Damn, a hard day's rockin' Better slip off ma shoes Maybe give a little stretch, and a bend Dip m'toe to jacuzzi, baby Slip out this book: The Buttress...

JB: Kage KG: Yeah? JB: Let's go to this drive-thru (Motor Sounds) KG: Oh good, I'm starvin' Drive-thru guy: (mumbles) JB: Yeah, umah Drive-thru guy: May I have ...

Dude, i totally miss you I really fucking miss you I'm all alone, All the time, all the time Dude, i totally miss you The things we did together Where have you...

We've been sent, To issue all you people here a warning I'm not at liberty to say, The details of our most perculiar warning Yeah Sufice to sayAll you people he...

Climb upon my faithful steed, Then we gonna ride, gonna smoke some weed Climb upon my big-ass steed, And ride, ride, ride Weeee-eee-eee-eeeee-eeeee-eee-eee-eee...

Friendship is rare, Do you know what I'm sayin' to you? Friendship is rare My derriere, When you find out much later That they don't really care It's rare to me...

This is a song for the ladies But fellas listen closely You don't always have to fuck her hard In fact sometimes that's not right to do Sometimes you've got to ...

This is the greatest and best song in the world Tribute Long time ago me and my brother Kyle here, we was hitchhikin' down a long and lonesome road All of a su...

We should talk about the hard fucking no The hard fucking? Because i think its pretty common complaint Yeah the ladies don't really like the hard fucking You fe...

I wasn't very popular in high school, And here's what I figured out It was because I needed it too much, I needed attention I think I have a, a chromosome, The ...

We ride with kings on mighty steeds, across the devils plain We've walked with Jesus and his cross, he did not die in vain, no! Kyle's fingers be silver Jack's ...

Today, drops of a rain will turn in snow Today the sun will die Eternal gloom, Will cover the faces, Makes a human hopes like an ashes of paper Eyes are filled ...

i want you to want me i need you to need me i'd love you to love me i'm beggin' you to beg me i'll shine up my old brown shoes put on a brand new shirt get hom...

I'm the only gay eskimo I'm the only one I know I'm the only gay eskimo In my tribe I go out seal hunting with my best friend Tarka But all I wanna do is get i...

I've been really tryin' baby Trying to hold on to this feeling for so long And if you feel like i feel, sugar Come on AARRGGHH Come on Woohoo Let's get it on O...

More tomatoes? I do believe so, yes Ohh, life on the road Kayg Life on the road Hey guys I got that wiper fluid for ya It was a big day on Jesus ranch, Jesus ra...

It was a big day on Jesus Ranch, Jesus Ranch He was harvesting a big tomato, it was in the sand, alright I'm taking a walk in the woods, and it's nice outside ...

With karate I'll kick your ass Here to Tiennamen Square Oh yeah, muthafucka, I'm 'onna kick your fuckin' derriere You broke the rules, Now I'll pull out all you...

JB: God, I'm fuckin hungry Let me check the fridge Dude, where's my fuckin schnitzel? Hey, wake up Wake up you asshole, wake up KG: Whahahat? Wh? JB: Wake up KG...

Jack: Let's kick it I'll say kick it, and you'll just kick it with a tasty groove, okay? 1, 2, 3, kick itkick it, come on, god damn it, GOD, KYLE! COULD YOU ONE...

::Jack Black (Narrator):: A long ass fuckin' time ago, In a town called Kickapoo, There lived a humble family Religious through and through But yeah there was a...

[spoken] [KG:] Dude, we gotta fuckin' write something new C'mon [strums] [JB:] I don't like that So far ba--, off to a bad start [strums again] [JB:] Better, cl...

Last week, Kyle quit the band, Now we're back together, uh Misunderstanding, didn't understand It doesn't matter, now we're back together again A-la la la la la...

JB: Kyle took a bullet for me Now I got to rock for three KG and me, don't forget about Tenacious D KG(ghost): I took a bullet for J Now I'm in Heaven and I ca...

Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee, We're talkin' fuckin' Lee I had a friend named Lee, He cast a spell a spell on me If me and Lee and KG ...

[KG (spoken):] Yeah, but you didn't fuckin' come out with this (one)--! [cuts off on "one"] [KG starts playing] [JB (spoken):] I got some lyrics [sung] Malibu n...

On the rise of a new dawning I gaze upon a pagan mass Who cry in tones of victory and hail their gods in the skies Their shields and armor are glittering under ...

[Talking] Do another one here This is my version of Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville Little different thought we had to bring it up in to the 90's Its now called ...

Augh! AHGH! I do not need, (he does not need) A microphone (a microphone) My voice is fuckin, (fuckin) POWERFUL! AUGH!! AHGH! Sorry I did not mean, (he did n...

Well we met in the food court in the mall, She was in line at arbys and I was sippin on a malt, Such a lovely girl I walked up to her, I wanna make u mine and b...

Last week Kyle left the band Now we're back together Misunderstanding, didn't understand Doesn't matter, now we're back together again Couldn't split up Kato an...

Jack, Yeah, Do you think some people, Do you think that there's some people that are really, that are actually robots living among us, no, so we can't tell, no ...

Sasquatch: Arrgggghhhh! JB: Arrrggghhhh! Sasquatch: That's good, lets go an adventure, JB: Yeah, (la la la) Sasquatch: I've got lots to show you, (la la laaa) J...

Cause it's the Pick! Of Destiny child, You know we will be rockin' cause it's fucking insane! It's just the Pick! Of Destiny child, More precious than a diamon...

When the sun will sink in a sea And the singing of birds will die away When the beast wails in darkness And hears a sinister scream I will see familiar faces, s...

When the pick of destiny was released it was the bom And all the critics said that the deed was done The sun had set and the chapter had closed But one thing no...

Go Rock is dead, rock is dead Rock is dead, rock is dead Talk to my friend, that's what he said Is rock still around? No rock is dead It's all over, rock and r...

One, two, three, four, five, SIX SIX SIX! It doesn't matter if it is good, It only matters if it rocks The main thing that we do is to rock your socks off Ther...

(Kyle) (JB skattin' in the background) Rung digga dung dung rung digga dung dung Rung digga dung dung now Rung digga dung dung rung digga dung dung Rung digga d...

There were some scientists Trying to figure out the Sasquatch riddle, Then they figured out it was a missing link In search of Sasquatch, that was a kick-ass I...

In the nightime desert, I heard the pattering of feet This is an army of darkness hitting the road Axes Spears Swords in their arms There is a force and a sign ...

Lee: Well, me and KG, yeah, we're going to sing A little song about a few special things Special things talking special things Like when a friend gives a frien...

Spiderman, Spiderman Does whatever a spider can I-Is he strong? Listen bud He got the radioactive blood Hey there! There goes the Spiderman Ohhh!!!!! Is he st...

The government totally sucks You motherfucker The government totally sucks Ben franklyn was a rebel indeed He liked to get naked while he smoked on the weed He...

Talking (JB) You can't kill the metal The metal will live on Punk-Rock tried to kill the metal But they failed, as they were smite to the ground New-wave tried...

The road is fuckin' hard, The road is fuckin' tough-ah, There's no question that-eh It is rough, rough stuff It's the fuckin' road my friend But it's the only r...

They fucked our asses, They fucked 'em hard, But we kept our indie cred for the whole night yard, Hi-a-a-a They blocked our album, They fucked our show, Bu...

Ho Ho Ho So many christmas letters, So many wishes, Lucy wants a squeezie doll, Jimmy wants a moon rocket, Oh, this list is rather long, Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaa...

To be the best We got to pass the test We gotta make it all the way To the top of the mountain We can do it again! To feel the high We got to learn to fly We ...

It could've been disaster til the pupil found his master! Something rhymes with master! He's teaching him in the ways of rock! His fingers move with blinding sp...

[spoken] This is the greatest and best song in the world Tribute Long time ago me and my brother Kyle here, we was hitchhikin' down a long and lonesome road A...

We've been sent, to issue all you people here a warning I'm not at liberty to say the details of our most peculiar warning Yeah Suffice to say, all you people h...

[sung] high above the mucky-muck castle made of clouds there sits wonderboy sitting oh so proudly not much to say when your high above the mucky-muck yeah! yeah...