Joan was quizzical Studied Metaphysical
Science in the home (That's Me!)
Late nights all alone with a test tube
Oh, oh, ho, ho

Maxwell Edison, majorin' in medicine,
Calls her on the phone
"Can I take you out to the pictures,
Joa, oa, oa, oan?"

But as she's gettin' ready to go,
A knock comes on the door.

Bang Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer
Came down on her head.
Bang Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer
Made sure that she was dead

(Silver hammer, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)

Back in school again, Maxwell plays a fool again,
Teacher gets annoyed, Hmm!
So as to avoid an unpleasant
Sce, e, e, ene,

She tells Max to stay when the kids are gone away,
So he waits behind
Writing fifty times "I must not be
So, o, o, o.."

But when she turns her back on the boy,
A noise comes from behind.

Bang Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer
Came down on her head.
Bang Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer
Made sure that she was dead

(Silver hammer, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)

P.C. Thirty one said she caught a dirty one
Maxwell stands alone
Painting testimonial pictures
Oh, oh, ho, ho

Rose and Valerie, screamin' from the gallery
Say he must go free
(Maxwell must go free)
Judge does not agree and he tells them
So, o, o, o.

But as the words are leavin' his lips,
A noise comes from behind

Bang Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer
Came down on his head.
Bang Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer
Made sure that he was dead, wo, wo, wo

Bang Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer
Came down on his head.
Bang Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer
Made sure that he was dead

(Silver hammer, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)